Monday

 Dear S,

I survived the weekend. It was a pretty good time with the girls. We went to a couple of events to celebrate the end of the school year: One was a family party at a local farm with live music and bouncy castles; the other was a father daughter dance, which was so sweet. Things went fine with the ex, we even drove in the same car to both events.

I was supposed to spend today with T but he had to reschedule. I'm disappointed but I understand. It would have been a welcome distraction from missing you. I'm glad we had that final walk. Leading up to it, I was unsure what benefit it could bring, but in hindsight I'm relieved that we had that time together to say a proper goodbye.

I was a better version of myself with you in my life. I was taking better care of myself and my kids. I'm a bit sluggish the past 24 hours. It's hard when my day lacks structure. I'm trying to keep going, to keep fresh the fond memories of what little time we had. I'm glad I got the girls hooked on spinach salad because I think of you whenever I make it. 

This weekend, little one got into my pink and purple hair dye and colored half her head and several spots on her skin...not to mention my poor bathroom. I stayed calm even though it was stressful. I imagined the smile that would likely be on your face if I could tell you about it. I knew it would be just the sort of thing you'd take in stride. To be honest, a half-purple head suits her personality, the little monster. She wears it well.

Hope you aren't sulking around the house too much today (like I am). I know a lack of structure is hard on you, too.

Hugs and kisses from afar.

P.S. My doctor just called me and wants to do a cancer screening tomorrow after an abnormal lab result. Wish me luck.